soapboxing again

I guess since conservative Christians have successfully usurped what used to be the Republican Party, they've gotten bored and felt the need to extend their Wide Net o' Sin. This time, it's not just that wacky ol' American Family Association revving up their indignity pens. This time, we're treated to the somber tones of Bill O'Reilly and others of his ilk, spreading the notion that liberals -- not society as a whole, mind you, but those evil libruls -- are actively waging a "War on Christmas" by using the word "holiday" in places where one might have previously used "Christmas."

Apparently, the battle began last year, or so it would seem, to hear Mr. O'Reilly speak it. Christians both conservative and liberal have, for years, expressed their dismay at the commercialization of Christmas. Doesn't anyone know what Christmas is all about? asked Charlie Brown in 1965.

Somewhere along the way, someone realized that there was not one, but two! days of celebration in December for many Americans, and they're barely a week apart: the 25th and 31st. Combine that with Hanukkah, and we have reason to use the phrase "Happy Holidays" when speaking to the American public as a whole. Again, this is not something newly contrived by The P.C. Police™ in 2005.

But what gets me is that, while the target of ire remains the good ol' retail industry, this time around it comes with a delicious twist. They don't want Christ out of the retail blitz; no no, they want him right there, front and center. "In God We Trust" with each dollar we spend -- literally, since it's printed right there to remind us that God approves of our purchasing giant inflatable Grinches, presumably to symbolize the swelling of Christ's love this time of the year, even in green-tinted cartoon characters.

Tongues are lashing and wallets are boycotting, as stores urge employees to say "Happy Holidays" or "Season's Greetings" rather than "Merry Christmas." On the surface, these phrases may appear to be simple generalized expressions that apply to a broader customer base. But not so! say the critics -- it's actually a thinly veiled plot to... *drum roll please* ..."take the Christ out of Christmas!!"

Ah yes, that old chestnut is trotted out annually, but this year to the tune of comic irony, at least in my mind. Here we Christians have been saying for years that Christmas is too commercial; that our American traditions have their origins in pagan solstice festivals and Ancient Roman Saturnalia; that "Jesus is the reason for the season" (although the reason for the season being in winter rather than spring, when Christ as actually born, is rarely mentioned). But now our more conservative brothers and sisters of faith want this gaudy, merchandized spectacle tied to Christ's birth, as if people look to Sears for spiritual enlightenment. Target is for saving, not for being saved. Christ is not a commodity, nor was he born in a bright red suit, although I'll grant his eyes may have twinkled and his dimples may indeed have been merry.

Don't get me wrong; I celebrate Secular American Christmas (or as I call it, Belated St. Nicholas Day) just like most Americans, but in my mind, it is a separate set of traditions that just happen to take place on the same day as Christmas. I don't call a Christmas tree a "holiday tree" or any such nonsense, but I also don't pretend that it points toward Heaven and symbolizes everlasting life, or that house lights represent The Light™, or that red and white candy canes symbolize His Blood™ and purity and are J-shaped for "Jesus."

Christ was not born at Wal*Mart; let's keep it that way.