BG blotter

Now that I've been out of college a full four years and my parents are both retired from teaching, the summer has stretched itself from Memorial to Labor Day. In some respects, "summer" goes from the opening of the cottage in mid-May to the closing in late September. This year, I'm considering summer to be Cedar Point's opening day until the first cold day when I get a craving for apple cider and chili with cornbread.

That's a long-winded segue to the Bowling Green police blotter, which is once again updated daily on bgnews.com now that school is back in session. Some highlights from today's report:

Founders was evacuated because of a fire alarm. BGFD reported that burnt popcorn was the cause.
Ah, the ol' leave-the-popcorn-in-the-microwave-too-long trick. My dorm senior year had a kitchen on the third floor, so we had our share of legitimate late night fire alarms.

A subject was reportedly climbing the flag pole outside Commons.
Go protest somewhere else, ya hippies.

A bat had to be removed from the top floor of Mosely Hall.
I'm told bats are fairly common in this area of buildings. At first I thought they were talking about a baseball bat on the roof. Damn fool kids; next time I KEEP IT!!

A woman on North Enterprise witnessed an unknown man approach her residence as she returned home. Officers checked the area and found her roommate with her boyfriend at the residence.
The structure of that last sentence doesn't make it exactly clear to whom "her" refers, which could draw up some amusing conclusions.

Joseph Ryan Rosenberg, 22, and Zachary G. Cook, 22, were observed picking flowers beside a home on Ridge Street and were warned for disorderly conduct.

A 3rd Street resident reported someone on his patio. Officers arrived on scene and discovered a raccoon. Resident claimed he's missing a duck decoy was missing from the patio and claimed the person may have taken it.
Raccoons are always comic gold, ranking up there with penguins and ostriches.