the m.a.n.u.r.e. pile

The cycle of educational fads is certainly nothing new. Most of today's retiring teachers can easily name at least ten fads their school went through in their 30 years. What's funny is that many of the trends they cite from 30 years ago will sound vaguely familiar. These things tend to follow a process of The Three Rs: Rehashing, Recycling, and Retrofitting. For example, the modular scheduling of the '70s was rehashed in the '90s, but it didn't take, so they recycled it and called it block scheduling, and attempted to retrofit it into schools that weren't prepared to make such a sweeping change.

For the convenience of educators everywhere, one web site has compiled a list of these educational fads, aptly named The M.A.N.U.R.E. Pile: Mechanisms to Advance New Understanding for Renewal in Education (if that's not businessdud jargon, what is?). Even if you don't work in education, you may recognize some of these (such as Total Quality Management) from the business sector. The difference is that corporations have to turn a profit, whereas schools can just beg the citizenry for more property taxes to cover their mistakes.

The MANURE Pile has their own list of steps, but here's the process I've observed:

1. Someone in upper management reads about recent studies or surrveys of some new educational/business/management technique that worked at two -- possibly even three! -- other schools.

2. Hoping to bring in similar success and attach it to his/her resume so he/she can sprint off to a higher-paying job, said upper management person takes a few management buddies down to Hilton Head Island or perhaps Hawaii to attend seminars, workshops, and martini bars to learn all about the latest fad.

3. An "expert" on said fad (a "guru" if you will) is flown in, put up in a hotel, and paid $1000 a day to speak to the staff about everything the upper management already learned from steps 1 and 2. Guru/guress may even have a doctorate in something, thus giving him/her more credence. Survey/questionairre cards filled out in response to the guru are duly ignored. Studies from schools that weren't successful and actually showed negative results are also ignored, or written off as irrelevant analogies.

4. Office Max sells out of 3-ring binders as administrators, teachers, and staff at all levels are filled to the brim with various colors of photocopied pages reiterating what a great system this new fad is, and if there are enough trees and pink dye and school-related clip art leftover, maybe even some ideas on how to implement it.

5. Teachers/staff are required to take classes during summer recess to be trained on this incredible new system. At each teacher's expense, of course. More binders and tote bags with the fad's copyrighted logo abound.

6. Administration demands the staff start using the latest jargon and abandon the tried 'n' true teaching methods in favor of something an out-of-work school counsellor dreamed up so he/she could get paid $1000 a day to talk about it.

7. Something unexpected happens. Perhaps two schools merge, or a principal leaves, or a new superintendent is installed, or a tax levy fails. Whatever the reason, it's decided that it's too risky to fully implement the new fad while the school system is unstable. Or, the administrator who was so gung-ho about it in the first place has left, frustrated with how long it was taking the staff to accept his/her grand ideas. Or, the fad fails to live up to the expectations of the upper management mentioned in step 1, and slowly but surely (slowly enough so as to avoid admitting fault or pointing fingers at mirrors) they return to the tried 'n' true way of doing things.

8. Go to step 1.

Some schools are lucky enough to get through step 7 before any damage is done. In other cases, where the administration is especially aggressive, the fads fail and the students caught in the scuffle graduate with little more than an intellectual tease. Their education has been compromised and they are at a disadvantage when it comes to college scholarships, but -- meh -- mere statistics. Tsk tsk.

Is it any wonder my parents retired from teaching the moment they were eligible?