still plenty of unknowns, but it doesn't look good

That's basically what my doctor said, who was kind enough to call me from home tonight. We put her on speakerphone so my parents could listen in too. This isn't her area of expertise, so she's going to get me in to see a specialist as soon as possible. A biopsy will most likely be necessary. Fortunately, it's near the surface so hopefully that will make it easier/faster to get a sample.

Psychologically, I'm fine. It hasn't sunk in yet, because there's not much to sink in. All we know is that my doctor "would be very surprised" if it were benign. But again, not her area of expertise, so she was shy to make guesses. She said there wasn't anything abnormal in the blood sample that would solve any mysteries or point in one direction or another.

Hopefully we can have the biopsy next week, although with Thanksgiving I'm not sure. It may also depend if Elyria Memorial Hospital will take my insurance -- I read in the paper a few months ago that they aren't accepting United Healthcare... at all (which is great since I live literally four blocks from the hospital). I may get in faster there than going to the Cleveland Clinic Main Campus, but if they aren't "in-network" then I'll stick with the Clinic.

Update: I just called EMH and they verified that they've come to an agreement with United Healthcare, so I'm covered. I also canceled my Dec. 16 appointment, since we'll be having the biopsy before then.

Ironically, I'll need more mental support for dealing with the emotional support. :) I don't want to walk around with everyone treating me like I'm dying. Concern, thoughts, prayers, the occasional hug is fine... I'd just rather people act as though I'm going to make it through this and not as though I'm fading away. That positive attitude will be better for all involved, I think, including myself.

So right now it's a wait 'n' see.