Tuesday, June 29, 2004

bill gates e-mail hoax originator revealed

Not that he was really hidden before, among those who knew him. Today, Wired published an article that gets to the root of the famous Bill Gates e-mail hoaxes. Apparently it began as a joke by Bryan Mack, who was merely parodying a piece of e-mail spam his friend received. If you scroll toward the bottom of this page you'll see an e-mail from Bryan discussing how it started. Bryan also references his authorship on his own site (scroll down to April 15, 2002), and talks about his recent Wired appearance on his web site's message board. So, at least as far back as 2001, the origins of the Bill Gates e-mail hoax were known to the World Wide Web, if one only knew what to search for (the name Bryan Mack, apparently).

For some reason, I find urban folklore fascinating. It's like solving a mystery to try and figure out why the hell people pass along this crap thinking it's true and willfully exaggerate the details along the way.

axis of squirrel

Point-Counterpoint:
Neighbors, Please Talk To Your Teenage Children About Respect And Patriotism
vs.
Aww, Wook At The Cyooty-wooty Squirrel, Isn't He Cyoot?

Squirrel Steals Yellow Ribbons From Tree

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

and yet somehow, I'm not surprised

Cicada: The Musical

Schutze missed his calling.

pro bono = pro sucko

Today I read an interesting discussion at the MacNN Forums regarding designers working for free. Unlike some of the people posting there, I can understand both sides of the issue. On the one hand, doing free design work tells the big businessduds that there are a bunch of suckers out there who will work without pay just to build up their portfolios. On the other hand, building up your portfolio by doing free work is sometimes a necessary step to landing a paying job (or generating more business if you're a freelancer).

But the reality of it is that there *aren't* a bunch of suckers out there working for free; just college students and unemployed freelancers trying to make a start in the business. Also, you get what you pay for. If a big businessdud is willing to accept crappy design work to save a few hundred (or thousand?) bucks, who cares? Oh! but that lowers the standards of what's "professional" design!

No it doesn't; it just makes *your* work look better in comparison. :)

If you're just starting out as a freelance designer and have little to no experience under your belt, you won't find many paying gigs anyway, so the *only* work you find may be pro bono. When I was in that situation, I did the free work exactly for that reason, to build up my portfolio. Word of mouth (combined with people passing along my business card) was what led to paid projects. And it was those paid projects that gave me the learning experience I needed to get the job I have now. I might feel differently if I had been a full graphic design major and graduated from college with a top-notch portfolio in hand, but graphic design was only my minor, and I was attempting to make a start in a field I didn't have a lot of experience in. But thanks to those free design projects for family and friends, I'm now employed full-time in a regular job.

(Also, none of that has anything to do with the original topic in the thread. mixin visuals asked if someone could give him some ideas or help to come up with a logo for his site, and a few people responded with actual logos. That's not exactly what he asked for; he apparently knows his way around Photoshop well enough to create the design elements on his site, so he could probably create his own logotype as well, just by choosing a good font. Why art_director and others chose to grab this and twist it into a big irrelevant debate and shame mixin visuals, I'm not sure. His site clearly was not a profit machine [now or in 2003 when this thread started], seeing as the piddly amount of money he'd make from Amazon referrals would barely cover the cost of maintaining and hosting the site. I also find it slightly ironic that they got their knickers in a bunch over someone making a quickie logo for a site that's mostly a host for links to design-related web resources. It would only be fitting that the very people who use his site be the ones to design his logo, or at the very least offer advice about it. Maybe I'm missing something obvious.)

I'm sorry if my work isn't up to the standards of Mr. art_director on MacNN, and I apologize for being personally responsible for bringing the world of overpriced graphic design to its knees. I'll try to feel sad when I get my paycheck this Friday.

Saturday, June 19, 2004

imnotagooddesigner

I was looking through some of my old backup CDs, and found this little controversy. Back when I was still looking for a full-time job -- August 25, 2002 to be exact -- someone placed this help wanted ad in the Cleveland Plain Dealer:

Help Wanted - Computer / Information Systems
Wanted Web Designer Subject is armed and dangerous with web design skills in Adobe Photoshop, Flash/MX, Dreamweaver - possibly ColdFusion and JavaScript. Offering considerable reward, including benefits. Notify extremely creative, noteable web design company immediately via e-mail at: imagooddesigner@aol.com
Published in The Plain Dealer on 08/25


I still think it's pretty lame, and doesn't really strike me as the work of a professional, "noteable web design company." It sounds to me more like two guys my age in their parents' basement trying to get a web design startup off the ground. Sure, yeah, it might indeed be a real company that's just looking for someone lighthearted and fun. I didn't plan on applying for this particular job, simply because I had no way of knowing who these people were and if their ad was truthful -- let alone the fact that I didn't know ColdFusion, had never used Dreamweaver (a professional web design firm using Dreamweaver?), and my knowledge of JavaScript was minimal.

Since it was an AOL address, that means they can use AOL Instant Messenger. Admittedly, not everyone on AOL uses the IM function, or even knows what it is (despite the fact that the Buddy List window seems to pop up every time you sign on, even after you disable it). Plus, they obviously only created this AOL account to receive resumes from this ad, so it's unlikely they ever intended to use the Buddy List feature even if they did know what it was.

However, I still thought it was strange that a "noteable web design company" was using an AOL address, but then again, they might have their reasons for wanting to remain anonymous. It could be a temp agency or recruitment service or headhunter, and they don't want to give away the company name because then you might apply straight to the company and they'd lose out on their finder's fee.

Still, curiosity got the best of me, and I wanted to know if this was indeed a real company and not just some guy who thought he'd make a cute pun off of the "wanted" half of "help wanted." I had no idea what their intentions might be, or why they thought this ad was professional, but I decided to IM imagooddesigner and try to find out. Here's what happened:

Me (10:15:16 AM): Hello there
Imagooddesigner (10:15:22 AM): Hi
Me (10:15:31 AM): I saw your ad in the Clevleand Plain Dealer
Imagooddesigner (10:15:34 AM): ok
Me (10:15:41 AM): Could you tell me a bit about the web design job?
Imagooddesigner (10:16:53 AM): Actually, no, I am not here to answer questions. If you are interested please email your resume as the ad states and we will review it.
Imagooddesigner (10:16:56 AM): Thanks.
Me (10:17:03 AM): Ok, thanks!
Me (10:17:28 AM): By the way, what is the name of your company?
Imagooddesigner (10:17:58 AM): obviously you can't follow instructions....perhaps you shouldn't bother sending your resume.


Could someone please tell me what exactly I said that pissed him off so much? No, wait, don't tell me, I already know: "By the way, what is the name of your company?" That's what set him off. Let's brainstorm some of the other possible responses he *could* have given:
  • "Well we are a recruitment service, so unfortunately I'm not at liberty to divulge the name of the company offering this particular job."
  • "We would rather have people send us resumes by e-mail, so we didn't publish the company name to avoid getting phone calls."
  • "We're actually just two idiots with a computer in my parents' basement and don't have a name yet. But all of my friends know we're starting this company, therefore I claim we're 'noteable.' As for the 'benefits,' the satisfaction of working for two geniuses like us is benefit enough."

Now let's play the devil's advocate and brainstorm what else might have transpired here:
  • The person who would normally be the friendly human resources director was on vacation, and some college kid was filling in that day. Having no people skills, when someone dared to ask for the name of the company, he got snarky and defensive. Well, not even really "defensive"... he had no defense. He simply told me I couldn't follow instructions so I shouldn't send my resume.
  • E-mail was invited, IM was not. Of course, *no* company is going to ask for resumes over Instant Messenger, so it's pretty silly to assume I was attempting to apply for the job over IM. I had a simple question: WHAT IS THE NAME OF YOUR COMPANY? and he refused to answer it.
  • "Here I am just going through my normal Monday routine, drinking my coffee and settling in to check the resume responses we got from our ad, and this asshole sends me this IM out of nowhere, demanding to know the name of my company. Pshaw! Let 'im have it!" Oh please, spare me the drama.
  • "1) I'm anonymous and he doesn't know who I am in real life, nor does he know the name of my company, hence I can be a jackass; 2) it's not in my job description to answer Instant Messages; and 3) there are thousands of web designers out there, so pissing off one potential candidate doesn't matter, especially in this shitty economy."

All entirely possible, I suppose. In the case of the first bullet point there, I'm reminded of this incident where ABC's webmaster took it upon himself to reply to a viewer's e-mail, even though it was outside his job duties. I'd just like to ask that guy if it was really worth losing his job to have the satisfaction of debunking some homophobe's beliefs.

Another issue is, apparently I view Instant Messenger differently than other people do. I just consider it another form of communication, like the telephone or writing a letter. When companies only want mailed resumes and don't want phone calls, they generally say "no phone calls please" in the ad. I'm not saying imagooddesigner should have said "no IMs please," but if a company lists their street address in an ad and doesn't say "no phone calls please," it's not that unreasonable for someone to look them up in the phone book and call to ask for more information. In fact, those career guide pamphlets and books often recommend calling to get more information about the job and the company, so you can cater your cover letter and resume accordingly.

All that considered, I'm still having trouble understanding how asking for the company name made him so upset. He's quibbling on the fact that he said "I am not here to answer questions" and I went ahead and asked another question. I suppose instead I should have simply said, "Ok, thanks! I just wanted to know the name of your company" so as to avoid using that dreaded question mark. Or, had I known that would be his reaction, I would've politely asked for the company name right off the bat, instead of wasting my one-question quota on "Could you tell me a bit about the web design job?"

When I originally told this story to some friends back in 2002 (some of whom I talked to over IM, no less), the vast majority of them gave the guy the benefit of the doubt, and chastised me for "breaking the rules" and Instant Messaging him. They believed this was in fact a real professional web design firm that was simply looking for a creative, fun-loving designer. Did the conversation I posted above really warrant "chastising," as I call it? Well you see, that wasn't the end of the conversation. There was one more line I tacked on that sort of changes the mood of the whole situation, and I believe that is why my friends blamed me for imagooddesigner's arrogance:

Imagooddesigner (10:17:58 AM): obviously you can't follow instructions....perhaps you shouldn't bother sending your resume.
Me (10:18:27 AM): Ah, just as I thought. I suppose I wouldn't want to work for you, if your company does in fact exist.
"Imagooddesigner" signed off at 10:45:53 AM.


You see, I was going on the assumption that this ad was some sort of prank, or at the very least, untruthful (Area Temps is known for their misleading help wanted ads, so it wouldn't be the first time a company exaggerated their claims). Because I made that assumption, the people I told this story to were out to prove me wrong. When you add that last line, it appears that I'm just as snarky as I found him to be. By leaving that out, we can actually have a polite brainstorming session about what this ad is really for and who imagooddesigner really is.

Who knows; by posting this here in my blog, maybe someone will be Googling for "imagooddesigner" and will read this and enlighten me with the truth.

Friday, June 18, 2004

got money?

I've often said I would never want to live in New York City. However, this might sway me. Anyone got $41,500,000 they want to loan me? Or more specifically, give me?

who's got the best death?

*sigh* Am I the only one tired of people comparing Ronald Reagan to Ray Charles, and trying to claim one's death is more tragic or important than the other's? The only things they have in common are that they died within days of each other and were both well-known. Do people really think if Reagan hadn't selfishly chosen to die five days before Ray Charles, that it would be Charles' face all over the news, complete with day-long coverage of his funeral and procession, and flags at half mast for a month? Those who wish to remember Ray Charles and his music are doing just that; it's not as though people have to pick and choose between two mutually exclusive mournings.

People pulled the same nonsense when John Ritter and Johnny Cash died on the same day, and when Mother Teresa died six days after Princess Diana. Why do people feel the need to make a big deal about this? They want *their* favorite celebrity to get top billing, to steal all the headlines, to make it into Dateline memorial segments, to have their life validated by the press, to be immortalized temporarily on the short attention spans of John and Jane Q. Public.

And it's funny how the person who comes out on top is coincidentally always the one who the crybabies don't want to be recognized. The crybabies will dig up any dirt they can to blemish another person's life and legacy, so that their #1 choice will look better in comparison. Guess what, honey, they both have friends and family mourning, they both touched the lives of many people for better AND for worse (unless you're going to tell me you were there for every single second of both their lives and witnessed both the good and the bad, and not just what biographers choose to publish), and what else -- big shock here -- they were both human, they both died, and they both had people who loved them. That is what really matters, not some nonsensical pissing contest about who deserves to be mourned the most.

Please, people, get over yourselves.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

more adventures in spam

A friend received this lovely little subject line:

You Are Stupid Dumbass If U Pay retail Pricee For Softwaress fathers sad

Aww... just sorta gets ya right here, don't it? *sniff* Or maybe it's just a mistranslation and it's really saying that paying retail pricee for softwaress will make your deceased ancestors unhappy. Yessss, we buyss softwaress, don't we preciousssss?

Some spam filters look for emails without many words or full sentences, or something like that. To get around this, sometimes spam will include random words at the end. For example, this one that another friend received, found in a spam for mortgage whose subject line was "girl scout 238 pockets":

For example, grain of sand around indicates that prime minister inside inferiority complex reach an understanding with spider toward.

near paycheck beams with joy, because labyrinth from prime minister cook cheese grits for about hand.

But they need to remember how seldom related to paper napkin prays.

guardian angel from is womanly.

When you see over graduated cylinder, it means that related to senator wakes up.

balmy bloodstone birefringent lilliputian highwayman employer alexei cliche


Truly, poetry that rivals e. e. cummings. That's it; give them the Nobel Prize for Literature.

In a similar but not quite the same vein, Reunion.com recently sent me an e-mail saying that a new classmate had added their name to their list for Elyria High. Now, I know EHS had 2000 students, but I don't remember Zrhb Ahy4ga. Maybe he was an exchange student. Either that or Nick decided to add himself to our alumni list for some reason.

Sunday, June 13, 2004

adventures in spam

Here's an unsolicited e-mail I received today:

How are u ?
Tell me why you must p'ay mo're than software costs ? ;-(
You realy looking for not expensive high-quality popular software?
I think that we might have just what you need. We give you 80% d1sc0unt
price on all popular products we have!
[web address deleted]
Sa,ve your money for your family and for you health. :)


Note that they used the "winky sad face" for some reason. I don't know many people who wink when they're sad, unless maybe they're being sarcastic. And ya know, I just hate when these web sites only have low-quality popular software. And I'm still trying to figure out what p'ay and mo're are contractions for.

Needless to say, I didn't click the link.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

badger badger badger

From the creators of Badger Badger Badger comes... Badger Football. Enjoy.

revere me

My company won an award for the quality of one of our pieces of music. The Paul Revere Awards honor "outstanding examples of graphic design" and "acknowledge publishers for their efforts in creating art for the music industry." So as you can see at the bottom of the page there, we were awarded 3rd Prize for American Sailing Songs. When they say "graphic design," they don't just mean the cover art; it also includes the engraving/notesetting, print quality, and the overall production quality. I scanned my certificate. :)

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

copyprivileges (not copyrights)

I'm sure I will feel differently when I'm a rich and famous cartoonist whose characters are a multi-million-dollar commodity, but for now, I'm a little perturbed about the status of copyrights in the United States. The whole reason we have copyrights is because "the founding fathers recognized that everyone would benefit if creative people were encouraged to create new intellectual and artistic works. When the United States Constitution was written in 1787, the framers took care to include a copyright clause (Article I, Section 8) giving Congress the power to 'promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts' by passing laws that give creative artists (called 'Authors' in the Constitution) the exclusive right to their own artistic works for a limited period of time." [source]

Yes, that's right: a limited period of time. Just as inventors only get to hold on to their patents for a set number of years, so was the intention of the original copyright law. It was to encourage artists to create new works, not to make their great-grandchildren rich (which is why, in the early 1900s, copyrights only lasted 28 years plus a renewal period of an additional 28 years).

But today, a copyright lasts for 70 years after the death of its creator. The creator can transfer the rights to someone else, and usually does, to have it published. In almost all cases, the publisher owns the rights to the work, and have signed contracts on file stating such. I work for a music publisher, and that's how we do it; without a publisher, there would be no one to print it for the composer and distribute it to dealers that sell it. (Of course, there are also "vanity publishers," where the author pays them to publish their book; I'm not sure how their contracts work.) In this case, the copyright lasts 95 years from the date of publication.

That is to say, the moment you turn an idea into a "tangible medium," you own the rights to that work, and the rights will follow you to the grave and stay there for 70 years, at which point they will be resurrected and enter the Heaven of Creative Works, also known as the "public domain." But if you publish your work -- that is, allow it to be seen by others on an unrestricted basis -- then the copyright rests with the publisher for 95 years. And once some famous pieces of music come up for expiration somewhere around the year 2018, I'm sure Congress will once again step up to the plate and decree that copyrights of published works *now* will last 200 years, just to ensure that no one misses out on the vast wealth of their great-great-great-great-grandparent's estate.

The estate of Irving Berlin is one of the more vicious ones, not that I really blame them; the law entitles them to do as they please with Berlin's music, and Congress keeps extending the number of years in which they can exploit the man's work for their own gain. (Trust me, it has very little to do with "protecting the integrity of his work" or "continuing his legacy" or any of the other BS they use to justify their greed.) They also enjoy gobbling up the rights to other songs like Silver Bells, and while they'll allow you to record an arrangement of the piece, they won't let you publish the sheet music for it. Same deal for White Christmas. Why they'll accept royalties for recordings but not sheet music, I'm not exactly sure.

Anyway, what made me get on this tangent today was a discussion of the copyright of Happy Birthday. To make a long story short, any time you publicly perform or publish an arrangement of Happy Birthday, if you do it legally with permission, you're lining the pockets of AOL Time Warner executives. How? Well, the composers of Good Morning To All, Mildred and Patty Hill, had a sister, Jessica, who took the matter to court in order to secure the copyright for her sisters. Despite the fact that neither Hill sister wrote the lyrics we now know as Happy Birthday To You, and the tune itself was most likely a folksong that existed years earlier with different lyrics (such as "Happy Greetings To All"), they won the case and, in 1935, got Clayton F. Summy Company to publish the song in order to register the copyright. John F. Sengstack bought the company in the 1930s and renamed it Birch Tree Ltd. in the 1970s, then sold it to Warner-Chappell in 1998, at which point it was renamed Summy-Birchard Music. Warner-Chappell, of course, is a division of Warner Communications, which became AOL Time Warner in January of 2001.

So in order for my company to publish a string method book this year containing an arrangement of Happy Birthday, we had to seek permission from Summy-Birchard Music, pay them royalties based on the quantity we sell, and include their copyright notice on the music.

It wouldn't bother me quite so much if the Hill sisters had in fact penned the song we all know as Happy Birthday To You, but it's entirely possible that they did *not* write the original tune, and it's plainly clear that no one knows who wrote the current lyrics, and in any case, the tune itself *should* be in the public domain, but is not, because Jessica Hill won the court case that ascribed ownership of the tune and lyrics to her sisters. Just because they were the first to make the song popular (and it apparently *wasn't* popular until someone added new lyrics) does not mean they should have the rights to it, nor the publishing rights. Since copyright law was still in its infancy at the time, it's not so surprising that a folksong slipped through the cracks into the world of copyrighted material, but that little slip has grown into an annual 2-million-dollar enterprise for AOL Time Warner, and it'll last at least until the year 2030. I'm not sure how reliable this source is, but it does give more perspective on the legal issues (assuming it's accurate).

Similarly, Homer Rodeheaver was the first to formally publish many church hymns of his time, such as In The Garden. Songs which had been sung for years in worship services suddenly became copyrighted and profitable commodities because he compiled them into his own hymnal. To this day, Rodeheaver Music Co. owns the rights to In The Garden and many other hymns most of us would assume are too old *not* to be in the public domain. But thanks to Homer and our beloved Congress that gleefully ignores the true original purpose of copyright law, such songs will probably be exploited for their monetary value until the end of time. God Bless America.*

*The phrase God Bless America is a registered copyright of the estate of Irving Berlin. Hopefully, I won't get sued.