biopsy results

Everything went well with the biopsy procedure. I was in bed by 8:30 last night, had no trouble getting up at 4 a.m., and my parents drove me in. My minister even made a trek out there and showed up around 6:30 to lend some support and say a little prayer, which was nice. After that I was wheeled into another room for the general anesthesia, where I was taped and poked. Then I talked to one of the nurses for about 10 minutes while we waited for the anesthesiologist. I pretty much said hello to him and that I was feeling well, and next thing I knew I was in the recovery room, awake but sleepy, around 10:00. We arrived home a little after noon, ate lunch, and now I'm just sort of resting away the afternoon.

There's a pretty good size piece of dressing over the lump area, which is only slightly sore if I face anywhere but straight ahead. I guess the local anesthesia hasn't worn off yet, because it still doesn't hurt, but if it does I've got Percocet. Or rather, the generic equivalent because my health insurance doesn't include prescription coverage, and the generic was 72% cheaper than the name-brand Percocet®. Even just Tylenol may be enough; it just depends on the pain... everyone and every surgery is different. So, at least I have it in case I need it.

Since I can't really turn my head that much comfortably -- and also because of the Percocet (if I take it) -- I can't drive for the time being. I can take the gauze off in 48 hours, and hopefully by then the Perc won't be necessary.

OK, on to the juicy stuff: the doctor today basically confirmed his suspicion that it was a type of lymphoma, and we'll know for sure in 3-5 days (see update below). Most likely Hodgkin's Disease, but he obviously doesn't want to tell us one thing then come back and say it's another. If you're gonna have cancer, Hodgkin's is a pretty good one to have, comparatively.

I'll have to go back to the Clinic to have the sutures checked, which seems like a waste of a 45-minute drive, but whatever. Also, the oncologist will call us tomorrow to set up an appointment for some time after they have the final results of the biopsy. (See update below) Then we can decide how to proceed -- Hodgkin's often means 6-8 months of chemotherapy on an outpatient basis, but again, each person and case is different.

So if you thought my hair was short before, just wait 'til I'm doing chemo. :)

I'll take this opportunity to thank everyone who's been thinking about me and praying and sending mojo and what all else, especially my parents who have been supportive and taking time off their busy work schedules to drive me around. Hugs to all!

Update: The oncologist's office called; office visit set for Wed, Dec 8 at 2:30. But before that, he wants some more tests, conveniently all scheduled for this coming Thursday: 11:30 pulmonary function test, 1:30 blood test, 2:30 bone marrow biopsy (that local anesthetic better work REALLY well), and 3:30 EKG. My dad's going to call tomorrow and double-check if I really need the EKG since I just had one last week. Plus... a blood draw at 1:30? That's a long time to be fasting, and can't I get it drawn at the Elyria CC office?

It's been over 9 hours since I woke up from the anesthesia, and although the "soreness" of the surgical area seems to be spreading a little, still no real "pain." It would be helpful to at least take a Percocet to see how I react to it, for future reference, but if there's not much pain it seems pointless. I'll probably take one before I go to bed, as I won't be able to control my head/neck movement while I sleep, obviously.

In any case, at the December 8th appointment we should have the final 100% diagnosis and develop a plan for treatment.

new york city postponed

It turns out that Idina Menzel's last performance of Wicked will be January 9th, a week before we were planning to go. Aside from that, MLK weekend is sold out, so our choices would be to see it at a later date, sans Idina, or see it on tour (which so far is only scheduled for Toronto and Chicago, though it will undoubtedly come to Cleveland as well). However, part of the point of this trip was to visit NYC*, as well as see Avenue Q, which is only playing on Broadway with the original cast.

On the plus side, we won't necessarily be tied down to one weekend, we'll have more time to plan, and hopefully more of our friends can go. And as much as I would've loved to see Idina, it's still Broadway, Wicked will still be good; squinting from the last row of the Palace in Cleveland isn't quite the same. :)

*The only time I've been to NYC was when I was six, during the centennial celebration of the Statue of Liberty. So I'd kinda like to see the city, as I don't remember much.

well that took all day

Fortunately, we were able to get some other things done today aside from the consultation, so I won't have to make a separate trip for the blood test, EKG, and "TCI" (giving me my "to come in" instructions). The biopsy will be Tuesday, and finally we should know what it is later that day.

I met with the thoracic surgeon and he showed me the CAT Scan and chest X-ray. Not only is there the lump above the collarbone, but there's also something lower, "hardball sized." The big C word, "cancer," was mentioned today. But until the biopsy, they won't know exactly what kind it is or how to go about removing it. Most likely it will involve chemotherapy, but again, nothing is definite until after the biopsy.

Unfortunately, I'm scheduled to report at 6:00 a.m. That means we have to leave home at 5 a.m., which means I have to get up at 4 a.m., which means I have to go to bed at 8:00 Monday night. I also can't eat or drink anything -- including water -- after midnight that day, so I'll be pretty well famished by the time this is done. On the plus side, I'll be given a general anesthesia, so I'll be asleep for the whole procedure.

And here I didn't even know Anastasia was a General in the Russian Army. Or that Anna Anderson was even still alive. {rimshot}

People keep asking "how I'm doing," but as far as I'm concerned, we don't know all that much more than we did yesterday. The "hardball-sized mass" was a new one, but since there's no pain, it's hard for me to really be all that worried about anything just yet. I have full faith that I'll be fine, though I'm sure the chemo won't be a joyride. Perhaps that's being too optimistic in some people's minds, but again, without any pain to remind me it's there, it's easy to forget about it. I'm more irritated with sitting for hours in the waiting room and having to answer the same questions over and over. Save the worry for later.

10 WAIT
20 SEE
30 GOTO 10

:)

consultation

I got a letter from the Cleveland Clinic today with the details of my appointment for Wednesday (who the doctor is and where to go and all that). I'm having a consultation with the Thoracic Surgeon -- the head of the department, no less. The appointment is at noon at the CC Main Campus, and my parents are both going with me. I'll post Wednesday afternoon, hopefully with some answers.

In other news, I received my check today for the baby books, so I can officially say that project is over with. The adoption agency is very happy with them, as am I. Hopefully I'll find the time to upload a copy to my web site, even if it's just some smaller images instead of a PDF. Seems like there's always another small project that takes precedence over the web site (though in reality, the web site shouldn't be pushed to the back burner -- I got that accompanist job at Firelands High School because the choir director found my web site, which allowed me to quit my hideous temp job without incurring fines).

blood test results

I got a letter from my doctor today, which is good since I couldn't remember exactly what she had said over the phone. I don't have the actual numbers, but basically it said:

• slightly elevated alkaline phosphatase, possibly related to bone growth (no surprise; it's been that way ever since I started getting annual physicals in 2000)
  
• urinalysis showed trace amounts of protein
  
• sedimentation rate was elevated
  
• blood count showed no anemic and a normal white count
  
• low percentage of lymphocytes

So basically that all means, wait for the biopsy. :) And just for comparison, the blood test I had in 2002 showed a slightly elevated alkaline phosphatase and a "lower than we'd like" good-cholesterol level as the only oddities.

biopsy

When I got home tonight, there was a message from my doctor saying the biopsy is scheduled for Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, at the Cleveland Clinic Main Campus. We won't necessarily know the results that day, though. I'm glad we're getting it done so soon.

Update: OK, I had misheard the message. Wednesday is my consultation with the surgeon (and possibly the oncologist as well). He won't necessarily want a biopsy that day; he'll look at it and decide if he wants to biopsy first or take it out, or do some chemotherapy to shrink it down before taking it out... it all depends on what kind of tumor it is, which he/we won't know until then.

still plenty of unknowns, but it doesn't look good

That's basically what my doctor said, who was kind enough to call me from home tonight. We put her on speakerphone so my parents could listen in too. This isn't her area of expertise, so she's going to get me in to see a specialist as soon as possible. A biopsy will most likely be necessary. Fortunately, it's near the surface so hopefully that will make it easier/faster to get a sample.

Psychologically, I'm fine. It hasn't sunk in yet, because there's not much to sink in. All we know is that my doctor "would be very surprised" if it were benign. But again, not her area of expertise, so she was shy to make guesses. She said there wasn't anything abnormal in the blood sample that would solve any mysteries or point in one direction or another.

Hopefully we can have the biopsy next week, although with Thanksgiving I'm not sure. It may also depend if Elyria Memorial Hospital will take my insurance -- I read in the paper a few months ago that they aren't accepting United Healthcare... at all (which is great since I live literally four blocks from the hospital). I may get in faster there than going to the Cleveland Clinic Main Campus, but if they aren't "in-network" then I'll stick with the Clinic.

Update: I just called EMH and they verified that they've come to an agreement with United Healthcare, so I'm covered. I also canceled my Dec. 16 appointment, since we'll be having the biopsy before then.

Ironically, I'll need more mental support for dealing with the emotional support. :) I don't want to walk around with everyone treating me like I'm dying. Concern, thoughts, prayers, the occasional hug is fine... I'd just rather people act as though I'm going to make it through this and not as though I'm fading away. That positive attitude will be better for all involved, I think, including myself.

So right now it's a wait 'n' see.

lump

So there's this lump on my neck, just above the collar bone. Doesn't hurt, doesn't seem to be doing anything, and I only noticed it by chance while shaving one day. My doctor wasn't sure what it was, so she ordered a CAT Scan and chest X-ray, which are scheduled for tomorrow. Then I get to wait a month to meet with the doctor who's actually reading the results.

I feel fine physically, and psychologically I'm more annoyed than anything else, with how much work I'm going to miss and have to make up*, what with tests and doctor appointments (and if it's something that needs to be removed, surgery and recovery). *I'm hourly, not salary, although I do have some personal days to use.

Knowing my luck, it'll probably be something benign that's not worth removing and I'll just have to live with the rest of my life, kind of like my imperfect teeth that aren't quite imperfect enough to warrant the cost of braces.

wal*mart

I have my own feelings about so many mom-n-pop stores that feature shoddy customer service, limited selection, and overinflated prices simply because they're the only General Weed 'n' Feed in town and if ya don't like it, ya can't shop anywhere else, g'hut! This sentiment, however, in no way overrides my disdain for Wal*Mart.

Fortunately, I live in a city, not a small town, so I can choose to shop at stores that actually have reasonable prices like Walgreen's and Target. I'm still hoping Elyria gets a Meijer soon, but seeing as there are plans to build yet another Wal*Mart, the chances of a Meijer occupying the three-year-old empty SuperK building are probably slim to nil. And yes, I did even take the time to e-mail the Meijer company to recommend they contact Carnegie Management about turning the abandoned SuperK into a Meijer, but they said they have no plans to manage a store out this-a-way.

I will only venture (or adventure) into Wal*Mart if I see something in their ad that's on sale that I really need/want and is significantly cheaper than usual (last time this happened was a 2-for-1 sale on microwave kettle corn in 2002).

Elyria's Wal*Mart is always busy, at all hours of the day, every day of the year, which means empty parking spaces are scarce. Once inside, you're greeted by what is apparently a case study for a zoology graduate student's doctoral thesis, complete with simian children racing through the exactly-one-cart-wide aisles and dashing between legs of adults. The parent monkeys put forth limited effort to leash the children, as they are hypnotized by the rock-bottom prices. And that's assuming the prices are posted at all and you don't have to go searching for a bar code scanner.

The checkout lines always back up into the main aisle, making both entry to the store and the hour-long checkout an adventure in claustrophobia. Assuming the exclamations of "yew git down offa that cart" and "jest wait till we git home an' your daddy hears about this" don't cause a brain hemorrhage, you may yet leave the store with your sanity intact, but perhaps with a healthy dose of contempt for Wal*Mart.

And that's just for the store itself; the practices of Wal*Mart as a corporation don't do much for me either.

miscommunicrash

Twice in the last month or so I've installed fonts and/or software at work that directly or indirectly resulted in my computer not working. In both cases, I could still boot into Mac OS 9 and get work done, so I'm glad I bought the last OS9-bootable PowerBook before Apple discontinued them. And in both cases, the font or software was installed as a result of a miscommunication, and several days later I found out that such-n-such person didn't actually *need* the font or didn't *need* this 10-year-old PageMaker file, hence I could've avoided having to be stuck in OS 9 all week and reformat or use DiskWarrior. I dubbed these "miscommunicrashes," because they were computer crashes as a result of miscommunication.

Unfortunately, I think Apple forgot to exorcise this particular factory-refurbished machine, as it seems to have been cursed with inexplicable and unexpected problems at seemingly random and unrelated times. In both cases, the problems cropped up hours after the original event.

Another way to avoid this problem would be to not use my devil-cursed PowerBook at work, but since they gave me a 1997 SuperMac clone to use and the oft-promised new PowerMac has yet to materialize, I choose to use my own machine rather than suffer through the SuperMac's slowitude. I'd rather use my own machine anyway, because I can set it up the way I want; what I'd really prefer is a computer desk instead of a writing desk, but that probably won't happen until I get carpal tunnel syndrome.

a movie plug: Ray

During the movie, I kept thinking of what words I'd use to describe it, and couldn't quite put them together, so I'll just spit them out: fantastic, moving, sad, touching, delightful, enjoyed every minute. I had obviously heard Ray Charles' music before, but somehow, this film made it all make sense, made the pieces fit. In fact, of the 12 GB of MP3s on my computer, not a single one was a Ray Charles song... but I just ordered the movie soundtrack CD from Amazon.

I was curious how they made this film so quickly after his death, but as it turns out, Charles himself was intimately involved in its production, which was 15 years in the making. Far from sugarcoating, the film chronicles Ray's struggles with music, race, heroin, and women. Ironically, the one thing he *never* seems to struggle with is his blindness. What an absolutely amazing contribution to American music, and now, to American cinema.

new york city, w00t

My friends and I will be visiting New York City either MLK or Presidents' Day weekend, so we can see Wicked before Idina Menzel leaves the cast to go film the movie version of Rent (several of the original Broadway cast members from Rent, including Idina, have already agreed to do the film). Some of us may also see Avenue Q while there. Flights out of Akron-Canton are pretty cheap, as low as $120 round trip per person, and we may stay with a friend's grandmother and/or share a hotel room. It would be about that much money for gas and wear'n'tear on the car anyway, not to mention the extra time and the joy of driving in NYC and possibility of a snowstorm. Tickets are pricey, but I've never seen a show on Broadway and I'd really like to see these two shows in particular with the original cast (or quasi-original cast in the case of Wicked). w00t